Mentoring at Home

What do you do when you get home from work?  What happens when the kids get home from school?  Do you all go to your separate rooms - dad working in the garage, mom working on dinner, one kid doing homework, another kid watching TV?

In a recent conference on church leadership, Andy Stanley challenged me to stop working alone.  He was talking about the importance of mentoring others and passing on whatever knowledge or skill you had - even if it wasn't very much.  Jesus, of course, entrusted the most important mission of the world to to 12 handpicked men, and he spent 3 years with them doing ministry, training them, so that they could do ministry on their own when he left and sent the Holy Spirit.  But this principle isn't just about leading at church; it's about leading at home!

As a dad, I do a lot of work alone, and I was challenged to include others in that process so that I can be constantly teaching and passing on to others what I know.  Take your average household chore - cleaning the dishes or doing an oil change.  Isn't it faster and more effective if I do it on my own?  Perhaps, but think of what you would gain by doing it with your child.  If I have my daughter with me, even as an observer, we have time to talk, to share an experience, and to show her love through the gift of quality time.

So think of the normal stuff this week that you are going to do anyway.  What could you do with your kids this week...together?

Childlike Faith

My parents got saved when they were in high school, and were married soon after graduation.  As the first born in the family, I was raised with parents new in their faith and so excited about Jesus.  My baby book records my first sentence as, ‘Praise the Lord!’  This gives you an idea of the environment I was raised in. 

When I was about 4 years old my dad had been trying for a few years to quit smoking for a while.  He came home from work one evening and told my mom that in the middle of his shift, he went out for a smoke break and suddenly had no desire to light up.  Apparently I had at the exact time decided on my own to pray that my dad would quit smoking.  What an amazing demonstration of God’s power as shown through childlike faith.

This story was retold to me often by my parents as I grew up, and it encourages my faith to this day.  I think that is key … recount to your children what God has done in your lives.  Tell the stories of His faithfulness to your family … answered prayers of your children.  God is powerful and He is good. 

We will not hide them from our descendants, we will tell the next generation the praiseworthy deeds of the Lord, his power, and the wonders he has done.  Psalm 78:4

Rule of 5

John C. Maxwell, the former-pastor-present-leadership-expert, says, "The secret of your success is determined by your daily agenda."  In other words, the things you choose to do on a daily, regular basis are what will shape your success in life.

He encourages you, parents and leaders in your homes, to follow the rule of 5.  Essentially, that rule is this:  Find the 5 things that will help you to accomplish your primary calling.  Every day, do those 5 things that will help you accomplish that goal.  This does not mean you will spend all day doing those 5 things.  Instead, it means you will consistently do the right things - EVERY DAY - even if it's only for a little bit of time every day.  Those little habits will eventually bring you to your goal.

Maxwell gives the example of chopping down a tree.  If every day you choose to take 5 swings with an ax, then stop, and then return the next day to take 5 more chops, then eventually that tree will fall.  You don't have to chop 50 times or 500 or 5,000 times in a day.  Just a little - every day - will get the job day.

But to do this, you need to answer two questions, and the process of refining the answers can take years. 

1. What is your primary calling in life?  Examine your passions and your gifts/strengths to point you in the right direction.
2. Which 5 things/habits/disciplines will help you accomplish that primary calling?  Maxwell took 6 years to get his list.  Every day, he reads, thinks, files, asks questions, and writes.  Every day.

So parents, what has God called you to uniquely do?  What are your 5 things?  Start today by putting 5 simple disciplines into your life.  Do them today - if only for a few minutes.  And do them again tomorrow.  And the next day.  And the next.  It just might change your life.

 

I go through spurts of reading parenting books.  Right now I am in the middle of the following three different books:

 Parenting is Heart Work – by Dr. Scott Turansky and Joanne Miller

 Like Ice Cream – by Keith Ferrin  (The Scoop on Helping the Next Generation Fall in Love with God’s Word)

 Season of Change – by Rebecca Ingram Powell  (Parenting Your Middle Schooler with Passion and Purpose)

There are two main points that I’m hearing driven home by them. 

1. As my children grow up, I need to focus more on heart attitudes than on behavior modification.  This doesn’t mean I’m letting behaviors go, but when addressing them I need to try to tap into the heart issue rather than just punishing or rewarding the behavior.
2. I need to model the behavior I want to see.  While this seems obvious, I still need to be hit over the head with it now and again.  I want my children to love scripture … so they need to see me reading and loving it. 

 Any good books you are reading?

 P.S. Here’s a little plug for our upcoming parenting seminar.  On June 8^th from 6:30 – 9:00pm, the authors of the first book on this list will be at KFA for a seminar.  From what I’ve read so far, I think it will be a great evening with a lot of practical teaching.  You can find more information and sign up here.

From the Lips of Children

There is nothing as inspiring quite like seeing children worship.  When I hear the voices of kids crying to God, I hear sincerity.  When I see hands of children lifted in praise, I see authenticity.  When I hear a child humming or singing a worship song outside of church, I know that something of God has taken root deep inside.

Most weeks, I get the awesome privilege of worshipping with children.  Of course, you always have the fidgety boy or the talkative girl who needs to be redirected.  But for the most part, kids are willing to participate in worship and can be easily drawn into the presence of God.  It is so amazing to see the kids respond to God.  They show a vitality that is sometimes missing in adult worship.

One special Scripture passage of mine is Matthew 21, where Jesus is riding into Jerusalem on a donkey.  The crowds are hoping he will be the Messiah, even though they don't realize that he will be a different Messiah than they were hoping for.  As Jesus rides in, the children praise Jesus as the Son of David.  The religious leaders get upset and chastise Jesus.  Jesus defends the children's praise, acknowledging their praise of him as legitimate and right.  How incredible!  Surely Jesus knew that the children (like the adults in the crowd) didn't fully comprehend his entry as the Davidic Messiah and God incarnate.  Yet, Jesus said they were right to praise him.  And if they didn't, the inanimate rocks would!  See, Jesus was contrasting the deadness of the religious leaders to the live worship of the children.  The religious leaders' worship - regularly performed at the temple - was lacking passion, humility, and a right spirit of worship.  Rocks would be better worshippers than these adults.  The children, however, got it right.  For all their "lack" of understanding, they understood Jesus was worthy of worship.

I encourage you - teach worship to your kids.  But beyond that, come down into Journey Kids for worship sometime.  And let the kids teach you about worship.